Hello there Desi Brides!
How you all doing? All good I hope.
Gosh where do I start? It’s been 3 months since the wedding and I have been so busy! We’ve had a few weddings, Dav (my husband’s) 30th and a few roti’s! My schedule has been hectic and the gym has also been neglected. But I don’t want to be one of those wife’s (still sounds so odd saying that) that piles on the weight after the wedding all because she is getting a bit too “comfy” I still want to be in the best shape and even perhaps better with the run up to Christmas. So therefore I start my strip down again in 2 weeks time – once I get back from Berlin – yes I am on holiday again – but hey life’s all about living the dream right? If you don’t know what the hell is strip down is and you think I am talking jbberish you can read how I got my dream figure for my wedding here –
As you know I have been uber busy with the blog. Desi Bride Dreams is expanding! I am doing the blog full time now and you have probably seen “The Something Special” image popping up on my social media channels. Well I am frikken excited to announce that all will be revealed next weeks – EEEEEEKS! If you want to be the first to find out about my something special as well as get some pretty exclusive deals then sign up to my newsletter below and you will be the first one to find out the deets!
Once again I’m going off track, so today I wanted to talk to you the 10 lessons I learned from my wedding. To be honest this could have easily been 100 but for today I’ll stick to 10! There may be a part two as well so keep your eyes peeled Desi Brides.
But seriously I learnt a ton from my wedding. As some of you already know I have planned and coordinated weddings before and I was super organised but I myself learnt a lot.
So here it goes
1. The budget will go out the window – When I started planning my wedding last January I completely and utterly thought I could do my entire wedding day in £40k! How wrong was I? OK I know I had a really luxurious wedding with some of the best suppliers in the UK wedding industry but it was easily over this budget. Don’t get me wrong, I did make massive savings on areas because I know my shit and I wasn’t going to get ripped off but nowadays I think if you want a luxurious wedding you are looking at £40k plus but saying that it all depends on your guest numbers.
2. Wedding decor, venue and catering will be your biggest costs – Hell yes they will. The biggest cost for my wedding itself was the catering, then decor and then venue. These will be your biggest costs hands down.
3. Decor is really expensive – I think you all know my decor saga from my previous posts. I really battled to find someone who could really execute my vision. I wanted glamour, glitz and the feeling that you were spending a evening in New York, I wanted the fairytale wedding. I think I must have got 10 decor quotes, but once again I knew exactly what I wanted and how I could achieve that and I really do feel so for those Desi Brides who know what they want but can’t get the right decor company, not to mention the ripping off element. Decor companies will try and up sell their decor and sometimes you don’t even need it. I am offering a decor planning service and some of you lovely Desi Brides who have contacted me already – boy am I excited to work with you! If you need help with your decor ideas and execution ping me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org and I would absolutely LOVE to help you.
Here are some images of my wedding decor…
Images by Salshan Video and Photography
4. In the last week of your wedding you will go through some crazy emotions – Hell yes you will! All along I thought I would be uber pumped with the final week to the wedding, how wrong was I? In the final week I was so emotional because I knew it was going to be the last week with my family in Swindon, my family home and sure I had been away for 4 years at Uni and lived in Bristol and also been travelling but of course this was going to be massively different – a whole new chapter in my life moving away with my husband to a completely different city called Milton Keynes! There will be all sorts of crazy emotions flying around and people like your mum will most probably get emotional but just try and think this is a new chapter and it IS exciting and it WILL be great.
5. You family extended, siblings or even mum and dad will annoy you – OK I am not being mean here at all and I absolutely LOVEEEEEEEE all my family and friends but in the final week and even before the wedding – shit does get hectic. I can’t count the amount of times me and my mum would have debates over our guest list! Everyone has their own opinion but you have to do things YOUR way, because remember its YOUR wedding. OK I know in our culture family plays a big role and of course its a big day for them but try and compromise but don’t compromise on the really big things you want for your big day because you may regret it. The way I tackled it was to involve everyone in all the nicey nicey things such as the food tasting or the wedding shopping but then I just didn’t tell anyone the finer details. For example no one even knew I was having a New York theme or Jazzy B – not even my sister in law! That way its a lovely surprise and people can’t get involved! In the final week things get mental as you will have guests in and out but try and take breaks and recharge. Try and go for a massage to get out of the house or even try and check yourself in into a hotel for a few days so you can truly get away from all the chaos when you need to.
6. You will wish you hired a wedding planner or at the very least coordinator – OK Desi Brides there is a lot of stereotypes and stigma attached to this in our culture. First of all wedding planners aren’t there to take over or make the major decisions in your wedding and aren’t for the rich and famous. They are merely there to guide you and make life a lot less stressful. I know so many brides now are opting for wedding planners because a) they don’t have the time to research millions of suppliers and then think about if they are reliable, reputable or good enough and b) they literally can’t deal with the stress. Wedding planning isn’t just about booking all the suppliers, its so much more than that. There is the legal side, the decor, the wedding stationary, the menu options. OH MY GOD there was so much to do! I can seriously say in the final months with the run up to my wedding I was running around like a headless chicken trying to organise everything and I wasn’t even WORKING!!! You will also have tons to do for your pre wed events so take my advice and hire some professional help. In the long run they can help you save money.
Please do not skimp on a coordinator as they can be your most important investment on your wedding day. They will make sure everything runs smoothly and they will make sure the stress is taken off your parents and siblings so they can truly enjoy your big day.
Here is what some recent brides had to say when I was doing my research…
“I got married 2 weeks ago, HIRE A DAY-OF COORDINATOR! I did so much work before the wedding but the day of a lot of it didn’t even get set up. I was of course enjoying my big day, but there was really no organization… family did their best but didn’t know what it was supposed to look like. It came out beautiful but I found myself catching glimpses of things that didn’t look right and It took some of the joy away from it”.
“I wish I would have hired a day of coordinator. I planned my whole wedding myself and ended up having to direct quite a bit on the day of because my family didn’t get it. I was also one of the first of my friends to get married so none of them knew how to help. It would have been nice to just relax and know someone else was handling the agenda during the wedding”.
Read more about this on my other post here – and If you need help with choosing someone email me on email@example.com because I know just the person! 🙂
7. There will be moments when you think WTF, have no clue and you will feel overwhelmed – When you first start weddings you will bluddy love it. It will be all airy fairy and you’ll have a scrap book with all your magical ideas. You’ll also go to wedding shows and be hugely inspired and your wild imagination will run away with you about how your dream day will look. Then will come the tricky and overwhelming bit. For example you will get back a million quotes for everything and you won’t know what you need, what you don’t need and if you are getting ripped off. You will get overwhelmed with all of the details and you’ll be thinking in the back of your head with the run up to the wedding – have I missed something? Working in a full time time job and trying to wedding plan will be hard and stressful. Again this is when a planner can come in! Think this is or will be you? Email me on and I’ll see how I can help – firstname.lastname@example.org
8. Not everyone will share your joy but the people you think wouldn’t really do – This was a really odd one. Unfortunately there will be people in your close family or close friends circle who won’t share your joy and get jealous and even act odd on your wedding day and the run up to your wedding. But then there will be friends and family you didn’t expect much from and they will be fully involved, celebrating whole heatrtedly with you and you can just see in their eyes they are so happy for you. My advice – ignore the haters and focus on the people who are truly happy for you.
9. Start your weight loss early and by that I mean at least 8 months before – I was very podgy after I got engaged, and I mean podgy. I hated the way I looked and the final straw was when I got back from Las Vegas I saw this stumpy picture of me next to my tall slim friends and I thought that’s it – I can’t look like this on my wedding day let alone when I go shopping in India! So over last summer I lost a few inches before my engagement in September but between November and February I was smashing the gym hard and I did clean eating for a total of 11 weeks. The results? Well I went down to a size 6 and I definitely couldn’t have down it with out my personal trainer Jazmin Greenaway. Again invest in a personal trainer and a good nutrition plan.
10. Allocate enough time for morning makeup and photography properly – This was the only thing that was annoying on my wedding day. Allocating enough time to your photography in the morning is a must. A timing plan is a must! This something a coordinator can help with.
Bonus Tip! Timings are crucial you need to drill that into the groom’s head – I’m sorry but if your baraat rocks up at 11am then you quite literally screwed and making up time is hard and it impacts your reception time if you are having a reception straight after the ceremony in the afternoon. Drill it into the groom and his families head that they NEED to turn up on time. My one year of nagging on my wedding whatsapp group to my lovely husband and sister in law completely worked and my baraat turned up at 9.30am – BOOM! Which meant my day ran like clockwork.
Bonus Tip! Finding a reputable, reliable and good makeup artist is like gold dust – It really was! I had a right mare trying to find a good makeup artist and I know you Desi Brides really struggle with this. So my advice is book early, have trials and make sure you know what you are getting. I have heard some real horror stories recently where makeup artists didn’t turn up or didn’t set the chunni – I even had a makeup artist I had a trial with contacting me the night before my wedding to see if she was booked. I would really hate if she messed up someone else’s booking! I even had my bridesmaids makeup artist cancel on us after their trial because she didn’t check the date! Eugh.
Again this is when a planner can really come in handy and recommend reputable and high quality makeup artists! Watch out for my ebook which I will be releasing over autumn which will have my top 20 chosen makeup artists.
WOW that was a one hell of a long post! But there was so much to cover and I really could go on and on…
Until next time Desi Brides 🙂